At first we thought it was raccoons under the house. Then we thought it was squirrels. Mr. Ortega thought It was “ratas”. He put out a load of the poison that makes you thirsty after you eat it, then when you drink you explode. They were eating the rotten wood under there. Rotten because I don’t close the shower curtain all the way. I thought I could hear them all dying one night. Mr. Ortega went under and said “No bodies” and found a huge litter of opossums. Then we caught a raccoon in the trap. Mr. Ortega took it to “the woods”. Then the smells got worse. much worse. Mr. Ortega went under the house “No bodies”. then the smell was gone.
A man wearing a white t-shirt tucked into his blue jeans is having a phone conversation at the table next to me.
“Stewart, I got a real situation here. You’re gonna have to help me with this situation, Stewart. No Stewart, I got a situation!” The man has on a big belt buckle which makes me think the situation may be rodeo-related.
A middle-aged couple wearing “work-out gear” is sitting behind me. They are drinking champagne and eating salads. It is 2:00 in the afternoon. The woman says “Sounds like that guy has a situation.” and they both laugh. And I laugh. Belt-buckle is pacing now as he talks to Stewart. “The Situation” must have become heated.
It is 100 degrees outside where we are sitting. Champagne couple begin talking about their favorite restaurants in Europe. The man says his favorite was in Barcelona while the woman asserts that Belgium was far better.